Bittersweet.

Something OLD. . .i`m transferring all my old stuff on to hear...[mainly from fb]

[ Robin Thicke serenades in the background ]
Never one to put my feelings on blast. . .ON A NOTE. . .this is a first for me [ but ] like they say there's a first for everything. Okay, iGuess iLl just start with saying that the last few months[ the last year actually ] have been a real eye-opener for me. Somethings have happened in my life that iReally didn't understand until now [ some iStill don't ] &&they have all taught me&&shown me that in the end all iTruly have is me. iAccept that. I also came to the conclusion that, if you let it, all things come baqq to G O D, my other father figure. My beginning&&my end. The one iCan always go to without fail. . .the one iCan forever count on to walk beside me always. When all others, fail me, He's there.

iHave [ learned ] how child-like some people can be in theire thinking. That they have to impose whatever anger that they may feel towards themselves upon ME. How there are so many, too many, lost souls who walk this earth. iHave come to understand that not everyone [ if you didn't already know for yourself ] is entitled&&deserving to hold a place in your life. iHave learned from personal experience that everyone who does eventually walk in your life is there for whatever reason and may not always be there for a totally different one. Over the past couple of weeks iHave come to the realization of what iWant life for me to be. iWant to be H A P P Y. That's it, pure&& honest happiness. That's something that iVe always aimed for but iHave just come to the realization that happiness isn't something that can be satisfied through others. It can only be found within one's own self. I believe it can be achieved by putting GOD at the head of your life&&allowing all other things to follow suit.

iHave learned that iCan only be me. Nothing more or less. iCan only
L i v e for me. That's it. Personal opinions no longer faze me.

iHave, more&&more over time, become unimpressed with some things that iHave witnessed in life. How people are so easy to H A T E one another. How it's become so acceptable. The norm. When it is soOoO much less stressful&&time consuming to convey L O V E. It's definitely much more effortless to do than the action of its counterpart. iPersonally don't hate anyone. iJust find some peoples actions to be to faulty to associate myself with them. No one is perfect, it's a fact. We all have our FLAWS&&ALL. We all have fallen guilty to having flaws. So just stop the hate. It's not the type of thing you want on your heart.

Over this time of internal self-reflection iDiscovered that anyone who is meant to be in my life, is meant to be&&will be. It should be an effortless relationship. iVe come o notice that iTend to put a lot of myself [ too much sometimes ] into others&&their needs. A lot of times it isn't returned. iKnow iShouldnt expect anything but sometimes people don't realize that it's not a one way street, it's a two way. Don't take my kindness for weakness. It's by far one of my greatest strengths as a person. iCan honestly say that's it's a blessing. iHave learned not to expect anything from anyone, except God. iHave put all in his hands. Entrusted him with my future&&my destiny. It is him where iFind my purpose. Him whom iWish for a better relationship with. All others fall after.

Another issue in which iHave wanted to express is this thing called L O V E. iWas recently asked what iFelt it was in terms of a relationship [ Boy/Girl ]. This is basically the answer that iGave:


Love to me is something that is shared between two people who have each others best interest at heart. It's about R E S P E CT. You respect each other. It's not about flowers and physical [ flowers just because it's Tuesday&&a hug just because it just feels right, aren't bad, don't get me wrong ]. iM talking about motivation&&words of reassurance&&incouragement. Love is not having the feeling of not being able to live without that person, because you can, it's that you really don't want to. Its calling just to say hey&&to ask how your day was. [ Personal: It's someone who is willing to help you to become closer to G O D&&is willing to pray with you ]. It's having someone who doesn't pressure you. It's having someone who expects nothing from you. Love isn't just a spring of a moment decision. It's not compromising. Love is kind&&patient. It's not forced. It's wanting that person to be happy whether it's with you or not.


That's my idea of what real and true love is, but there is soOoOo much more to it. That is something that iVE recently vowed to never compromise. Never to lower my standard, because it's what iDeserve. iVe but once experienced the closest thing to this love and let it go for something that wasn't right, because iCalled myself being bored. hmph. iGUess we live&&learn right. But iWont beat myself up about it. iJust hopes that person finds all the love he truly deserves and that iCouldnt give. Everything has its time&&season.

I'm always changing. . .stumbling upon more insight&&enlightenment on this life iVe been given to explore. &&like iSaid before everything has an end&&like iAlso said everything comes back to GOD.

So, GoD BleSs.!(((♥)))


[ Kanye West ft. John Mayer - - ->Bittersweet Poetry playing in the background ]