I`m "letting go"-my new obsession-& no matter how much it pains me, I`m not gonna give in to the feeling`s I`ve been experiencing. I`m gonna be strong for me, because in reality I can only guarantee having ME in the long run. I understand that no matter how much I want something it may not go my way. In life you don`t get everything you want, but I know God will provide me EVERYTHING I need.
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"
What does that mean exactly.? Is it that even the best attempts at making good of a situation, it can still end in disaster.? What do you think.? I can see this being applied to my situation.
Maybe things are changing to make it easier for me to: Let go. Perhaps move on.? Could never turning back be an option.?
One thing that really frustrates me is that when I express my feelings sometimes is not met with the reaction I desire. . .the reaction I need. I want to feel that whatever I`m going through you understand. . .because I know when you`re "going through it" I more than understand. I feel the need to make it all better. I dont respond wordless & with weak console. Maybe it`s the mother-figure in me, feeling the need to make your pains go away even when I feel all hope is lost for me. I have the ability to shove my woes to the side & mend yours. As I write this I am discovering the answers that I`ve been searching to find. . .its weird. [ I guess that`s why I find comfort in writing, it heals my once open wounds ] I am discovering fully that it`s not possible for you to be there for me as I want you to be. So I`m going to discontinue running in the never ending circle I have been & FORGET about this. . .[ until I`m unoccupied again. . .of course. . . ] : /