8.08.2009
Finish Line
7.25.2009
Be Love
Song: Be Love
Album: Exodus
Escape away with nothing
You try to feel it
But what you have is plastic
Your burned your pocket
And everything that's in it
On your search for something
That is real
[Chorus]
Well if you need love
Take the time and be love
Breathe it out create love
See how things can turn
If you need love
Give yourself and be love
Breathe it out create love
See how things can turn
It's so empty
But your room is full of people
It's so quiet
But everyone's so loud
[Chorus]
And if you need love
Take the time and be love
Breathe it out create love
See how things can turn
If you need love
Give yourself and be love
Breathe it out create love
See how things can turn
Inside your ruining the mood
You're singing solitude
Forgetting all you knew
So look, look into the mirror
Swallow all your fear
Believe it's really near
[Chorus]
Cause if you need love
Take the time and be love
Breathe it out create love
See how things can turn
If you need love
Give yourself and be love
Breathe it out create love
See how things can turn [1x]
"It`s not about me.."
7.24.2009
Let Go.
Song: Let Go
Album: Details
Are you in or are you out?
Leave your things behind
'Cause it's all going off without you
Excuse me too busy you're writing your tragedy
These mishaps
You bubble-wrap
When you've no idea what you're like
[Chorus:]
So, let go,let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, l-let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
It gains the more it gives
And then it rises with the fall
So hand me that remote
Can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow?
Such boundless pleasure
We've no time for later
Now you can't await
your own arrival
you've twenty seconds to comply
[Chorus:]
So, let go, so let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's alright
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, yeah let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
[Background sounds]
[Chorus:]
So, let go, so let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's alright
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, yeah let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
In the breakdown
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
The breakdown
So amazing here
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
"It`s not about me.."
Learning.
Live. Love. Laugh. Learn.
Many Blessings Your Way,
-Eboni Renee
"It`s not about me.."
7.23.2009
Simple Pleasures.
It`s amazing. . .
I like to see the beauty in everything & everyone now-a-days. I realize we`re from the same creator so we all have that in common at least. I`m really taking in life more, we have to step back in order to do that . . .because it`s true that. . .It`s not about you or me. . .
Look @ The Bigger Picture.
Peace, Love & Mercy,
-Eboni Renee
*inspired by my cooking, of course, & moms. . .*
"It`s not about me.."
Have mercy.
Have mercy
Matt. 5:7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
We all make mistakes. We all error. There are things we struggle with and
there are even times when we just do the fool and fall short. This does not
necessarily make us a bad person or even a sinner. As long as we can
acknowledge our errors as errors, and ask God to forgive us, we can be
reinstated back to the place where we were before the sin. We all sin and
fall short. Anyone that pretends to never sin is a liar and they deceive
themselves. As Christians, we don't practice sin on the regular, but there
are situations, struggles, issues, etc. that we are all trying to grow past.
What's my point? Don't condemn people for errors! When you wipe your hands
of people that make mistakes, you only cause yourself to be condemned when
you make mistakes. You cannot pass severe judgments on people without those
same judgments coming back on you. Now, this is not to say that a person
that is practicing sin, or harming the body of Christ with their actions
should not be called out by those that have the authority, but it is to say
that, mistakes can and should be overlooked if the person has gotten it
right with God.
There is going to come a time when you will need mercy. You will be in a
situation where you will desire to be reinstated by God after you error.
So, don't deny others the mercy that you will need. God desires to bring us
all to heaven and has a place for us all in his Kingdom. God is not trying
to put people in hell. So, why do we do that? We are not better than God
and if God is merciful, we should desire to be. Now, we should call sin
sin, and we should not turn our heads the other way when we see our brothers
and sisters in error, but we should be merciful towards them and try to help
them back to their rightful place in God. If they don't hear you, that's
another story. But if they will hear, acknowledge their error and repent,
then we should be willing to help them move past it and give them direction
for total deliverance and future avoidance. The mercy you give is the same
mercy you shall have!
Suggested Reading: Heb. 8:12, Luke 6:36, Luke 18:13
©2009 G. Craige Works All Rights Reserved
http://www.exministries.co
"It`s not about me.."
My Silence.
My Silence.
It Holds Words Unsaid, Actions Not Needed To Be Performed.
It Tells Everything That I Can Not Tell With My Mouth.
It Is Power.
My Silence.
It Fights When I Am Not Strong Enough.
My Silence.
It Keeps Me.
It Holds Truths, Things You May Not Be Ready To Hear.
My Silence.
My Silence It Is Golden & It Speaks Volumes.
-EяM♥
"It`s not about me.."
Beauty In Seeking & Finding.
It`s then when we feel so imperfect that we search for the Perfect.
When we seek we will find.
As simple as that.
May not seem like it because of the thing that is time.
But it`s truly as simple as saying,
"I Need You."
"It`s not about me.."
7.22.2009
It Will Fade.
You know the feeling of going against the grain.?
Of opposing the opposer.
Of being opposed.
Then I remember its for a better cause.
Bigger than you.
Bigger than me.
Bigger than this world.
Bigger than the word I.
Looking at the bigger picture. . .
This is when reassurance sets in. . .
It`s after doubt tries to re-appear.
"It`s not about me.."
Something Good.
You Ask & You Will Receive. (Opportunites will naturally present themselves)
IgnoranceIsTheEnemy.
Many Wishes of Love, Peace & Mercy,
-Eboni Renee
"It`s not about me.."
I Can Endure.
Much Love & Peace.
-Eboni Renee
Check Out: Proverbs 8- The Excellence Of Wisdom
"It`s not about me.."
7.21.2009
The Obama Deception.
Just The Beginning.
Watch & See.
We Need To Educate Ourselves. . .Otherwise Remain Prisoners Of Our Own Ignorance.
The Bible Says Watch As Well As Pray. We Need To Get Ourselves&Houses In Order. . .
Much Love.
- Eboni Renee
7.20.2009
He Wouldn`t Lead You Astray.
Truth includes:
Who, What, When, Where, How.
☮ & ♥
-E
"It`s not about me.."
Self-Doubt. . .& Other Topics That Come With My RAMBLINGS.
Another Feeling--Man. . This Love Thing. Like I Know It`s HIS Way To Love Everyone With The Love Of The Big Guy Upstairs[who I still don`t think is as HUGE&GIGANTIC a lot of people think, I mean I could be wrong. . .Heck, I haven`t seen him in the physical. . .] But. . .What Was I Saying. . . ?? I Do That A Lot. . .The Whole Off Topic Thing. . .
Ecclesiastes 10:11 :
The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, not bread to the wise, nor riches to mean of understanding, nor favor to men of skill; But time and chance happen to them all.
I`m Just Gonna Slow My Role. Remember That Making A Mistake Doesn`t Me Any Less. It Doesn`t Retract Any Of The Progress I`ve Made. It Let It Encourage Me To IMPROVE. We`re Human We Make Mistakes, It`s What We Do With After We Make Said Mistakes That Defines Us. Just Let Go & Let God. Yep. It Works. . .
Don`t Let People Discourage You. They Don`t Have The Authority To Lead You Away From The Direction God Leads You, But Always Be Open To The Wisdom That They Have To Share With You. We All Know That We Aren`t Of Perfection So All Can Stand Growth. Don`t Allow Your Self To Jump On The Defensive When You Feel Like You`re Being "Attacked". . .Look At It From A Point Of View Other Than Your Own. BUT Remember That God`s Wisdom Is At Our Finger Tips. [The Holy Bible] So Take Advantage. If You Seek, You Will Eventually Find.!!
I`m Learning. . .He`s Teaching. No Worries. = ]
☮& ♥
--Eboni Renee
7.19.2009
Peace Of Mind.
Love This Song.
Enjoy.
Lyrics:
I gotta find peace of mind
I know another cord...
I gotta find peace of mind
See, this what that voice in your head says
When you try to get peace of mind...
I gotta find peace of mind, I gotta find peace of mind
He says it's impossible, but I know it's possible
He says it's impossible, but I know it's possible
He says there's no me without him, please help me forget about him
He takes all my energy, trapped in my memory
Constantly holding me, constantly holding me
I need to tell you all, all the pain he's caused, mmmm
I need to tell I'm, I'm undone because, mmmm
He says it's impossible, but I know it's possible
He says it's impossible without him, but I know it's possible
To finally be in love, and know the real meaning of
A lasting relationship, not based on ownership
I trust every part of you, cuz all that I... All that you say you do
You love me despite myself, sometimes I fight myself
I just can't believe that you, would have anything to do
With someone so insecure, someone so immature
Oh you inspire me, to be the higher me
You made my desire pure, you made my desire pure
Just tell me what to say, I can't find the words to say
Please don't be mad with me, I have no identity
All that I've known is gone, all I was building on
I don't wanna walk with you, how do I talk to you
Touch my mouth with your hands, touch my mouth with your hands
Oh I wanna understand, the meaning of your embrace
I know now I have to face, the temptations of my past
Please don't let me disgrace, where my devotion lays
Now that I know the truth, now that it's no excuse
Keeping me from your love, what was I thinking of?
Holding me from your love, what was I thinking of?
You are my peace of mind, that old me is left behind
You are my peace of mind, that old me is left behind
He says it's impossible, but I know it's possible
He says it's improbable, but I know it's tangeable
He says it's not grabbable, but I know it's haveable
Cuz anything's possible, oh anything is possible
Please come free my mind, please come meet my mind
Can you see my mind, oh
Won't you come free my mind?
Oh I know it's possible
Anything, anything, anything, anything, anything, yeeey
Anything, anything, anything, anything, yeeey
Anything, anything, anything, anything, anything, yeeey
Oh free! Free, free, free your mind
Free, free your mind... free, free your mind
Free, free, free, free your mind
Oh, it's so possible, oh it's so possible
I'm telling you it's possible, I'm telling you it's possible
Free, free... free, free... free, free... get free now
Free, free... free, free, free, free... free, free
You're my peace of mind, that old me is left behind
You're my peace of mind, you're my peace of mind
He's my peace of mind, he's my peace of mind
He's my peace of mind, he's my peace of mind
What a joy it is to be alive
To get another chance, yeah
Everyday's another chance
To get it right this time
Everyday's another chance
Oh what a merciful, merciful, merciful God
Oh what a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful God
[Repeat till fade]
"It`s not about me.."
You`re Still God`s Child.
Song: Still My Child
Album: Thankful
He had many of bad habits
He was trying hard to break
And every time he thought it got better
He would make another mistake
Though he knows he's far from perfect
He is trying to live right
He asked me to ask You Father
Would You hear his prayer tonight?
[Chorus:]
He said tell him that I really need him
And I really want to change
The next time you talk to God
Would you please mention my name
Oh, tell Him that I really love Him
And although it's been a while
Ask Him for me am I still His child
I asked her how she was doing
She said not so good lately
Then I told her girl you know
You can always talk to me
She said these days haven't been so happy
Haven't had much peace of mind
Now I know that I should be praying
But I haven't had much time
[Chorus]
I know the answer to your question
Yes the Father still loves you
But sometimes when you have children
You don't always like what they do
So when go to your heavenly Father
Say Lord I love You
And when you ask Him for forgiveness
This is what He'll say to you
I sent a message in the wind
When the birds sang their song
And when you went to sleep last night
I told the moon shine all night long
Just wanted you to talked to me
And I know it's been a while
And to answer the question
You are still my child
Lost & Found.
---
Feels like making up for lost time. It`s exhilarating to be found. . .& still finding.
Speaking Into My Future.
From God`s Mouth To My Ears With LOVE,
--Eboni Renée
One Minute To Say I Love You.
Song: One Minute
Album:Thankful
I Know it now that I was such a fool
To turn my back on you
When you had given me everything
I let you down I know that's true
Now I come to realize that
There are no happy days because
You're not here, I need to know if
There's a chance for me again
All I need is one minute of your time
5 seconds of it may change your mind
10 seconds to make you see
15 to say Lord I'm sorry
For all the things I've done
It'll take 20 more to say that you're the one
9 to think it through
I'll take the one to say I love you
Late a night when I was all alone
You held me in you arms
I strayed away only to find
There was no place to hide
Lord please hear me when I say
I'll give my life you to whatever I've got to do
Show me Lord and I will live for you
All I need is one minute of your time
5 seconds of it may change your mind
10 seconds to make you see
15 to say Lord I'm sorry
For all the things I've done
It'll take 20 more to say that you're the one
9 to think it through
I'll take the one to say I love you
I'm not willing to, to give up on you
Knowing that you've always stood right by me
Until you forgive me my world won't turn
So if you hear me Lord, I'm saying that I'm
sorry
Said I'm saying that I'm sorry
All I need is one minute of your time
5 seconds of it may change your mind
10 seconds to make you see
15 to say Lord I'm sorry
For all the things I've done
It'll take 20 more to say that you're the one
9 to think it through
I'll take the one to say I love you
7.18.2009
Judge Lest Ye Be Judged.
☮, ♥, & ツ
-Eboni RenéeThinkings That Come At 3 In The AM.
When you get over the hard parts, the ease should be more than expected.
I`m always gonna expect that the better will come.'
It has to.
-You can always think better when you get the smoke out of your head.
Take It How You May.
- Eboni Renee
7.17.2009
Speak Truth.
"You`re Absolutely Right. I`m Not In Your Bedroom,
But It Is Of My Concern. Because The God I Know Created Man&Woman For Each Other. Eve For Adam.
Adam For Eve. &From What I Recall From Reading In The Holy Bible, Sexual Immorality [Includes Homosexuality] Goes Against God`s Intention For Man&Woman. If HE Wanted It To Be Otherwise, We Would Be Able To Recreate Within Our Genders. But He Didnt & We Cant. It`s My Responsibility, Because I`m A Child Of God, To Lead People In The Right Direction. I Say What I Say Not Out Of Ill-Intention But Out Of Love For My Fellow Man. It`s Not Me Passing Judgment Because I`m Not The Judge. That`s Not My Job. I Don`t Know Your Heart, So I Can`t Possibly Judge You.
Now You Can`t Say That No One Tried To Explain To You. You Aren`t A Prisoner To Ignorance..."
Intentions. | Shots Fired.
-----
Shots fired.
They hit me but do not bruise me.
Shots fired.
Their bullets coated with poison.
But they do not harm me.
Shots fired.
They no longer move me.
-Eboni Renee
He Is B E A U T I F U L.
He consumes my EVERY thought these days. I long to please him in ALL that I do. I wouldn`t change anything that has led me to this moment, because then I may not have the feeling of grateFULLness that I have.
I wake up each&every morning with joy in my heart&a smile on my face.
Every ill feeling that I`ve ever held against anyone CEASES to exist.
I seek to bring light into EVERYONE I meet, talk to, or greet, if but for only a moment & with at least a smile.
I`m more confident & self-assured.
I have the great ability to let things roll off my back.
-I`m becoming the me that I`m meant to be, the WOMAN that GOD sees in me.
&It is TRULY Beautiful.
Mercy, Peace & Love.
-Eboni Renée
7.16.2009
Be. A. G.
As in gent.
As in gentleman.
As in Gentle Man.
As in Gen-tle-man.
Because I am gentle, man.
-Anonymous.
[Until someone admits to liking it.]
Lol.
Open For Suggestions. | ♥
Don`t Be Shy.! I Wanna Hear From You.! Let`s Make This Work. Lol.
= ]
Peace & Much Love,
God Bless.
-Eboni Renée
**I`m Sure Best Friend[Logix] Will Be Of Great HELP As Well. : )
New Revelation.
This stems off from an earlier post made a few days ago[I`ll make you aware of the exact(time&date) post at the end of this].** I`ll also hyperlink the title of this post. = ]
-Not to take away from my earlier assessment but this, what I`m going to say, seems much more convincing. To me at least, I hope you agree. -
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"I think this small proverb holds SO much weight its insane. The thing is, in life we can all easily "intend" to do something & you could have the "good" or heart to go along with it, but if you don`t follow through on those "good intentions" it can lead you down the wrong path or to "hell". In life you have to walk the walk & talk the talk, be about what you say in simpler words.
*THIS JUST IN: BARNES & NOBLES CALLED WOOHOOT.! INTERVIEW. Oh Yeah.!! Oh Yeah.!! God Is Good.! Lol.*
-Now Back To Our Scheduled Programming.-
Just Be Real. Live Life The Way God Wants You To. Like Spike Lee Said, "JUST DO THE RIGHT THING". He Wasn`t Leading You Astray.
Peace & Much Love.
God Bless.
-Eboni Renée

**Thinking Out Loud - 7.9.2009 @ 6:12:00 a.m. Est. linkage: http://tohavelovedistohavelived.blogspot.com/2009/07/thinking-out-loud.html
My Best Friend/BestFriend Is BESTERER Than Yours.
-Eboni Renée
My BestFriend is BESTERER than your bestfriend
Sorry if I took the last of her kind
See, I wasn't searching for one either
I was transferring from one side of the city to the other
So my mother and I decided that CT was the best for me
And I remember my first few weeks there
I was lost and amazed, lost in a maze
Lost in a daze
It was just like May
All these flowers were blooming around me
And I was just growing
Learning that girls no longer have cutties but they’re cuties
So I was trying to plant my garden
By picking petals that plucked perfectly
But it wasn’t a perfect pick
I was picked to pick a picture imperfectly
Because my teacher chose me to pass for her
So my teacher placed me in a group of great friends
Not because I got an A
But because I got to keep an E
And I thank Shakespeare for this friendship
Without him I wouldn’t have met her
I wouldn’t have to say, “Et Tu Brute”
Because my E was used for Eboni.
See, my Best Friend is SO much BESTERER than your bestfriend.
I won`t start from the beginning, it goes WAY back,
& quite frankly I don`t know exactly where that starts.
See, my Best Friend is SO much BESTERER than your bestfriend.
My Best Friend, he is brilliant.
He speaks over your head, & not even on purpose.
He is kind & chooses is words more than wisely.
He is MY BEST FRIEND.
He teaches me & I naturally&unknowingly learn.
He is giving.
He is true, better than REAL.
How I came upon such a friend, it`s BEYOND me.
He is one confirmation of many that God is REAL.
My Best Friend.
He lifts me up when I need the lifting.
He keeps me steadily on the ground when I appear to be rising.
He keeps me, ME.
I won`t give him ALL the credit, because there are so many thanks to be given.
But I couldn`t pass up the opportunity to give up this extra special THANKS.
& If I were told from the start that this how my now would be I`d be like, "No Way.! Jose.??".
7.15.2009
ThankFull.
7.14.2009
Lord In You I`ve Got Victory.
This Song Truly Speaks To My Spirit, I Hope It Does The Same For You. ^_^
Artist: Smokie Norful
Album: I Need You Now
Song: I Need You Now
Not a second
Or another minute
Not an hour
Or another day
But at this moment with my arms outstretched
I need you to make a way
As you’ve done so many times before
Through window or an open door
I stretch my hands to you
Come rescue me
I need you…
Right away
I need you now
I need you now
I need you now
I need you now
Not another second
Or another minute
Not another hour of another day
But Lord I need you right away
If I never needed you before
To show up and restore
All of the faith that I let slip
While I was yet searching the world for more
The true best friend I have indeed
You’re my best friend I know indeed
I stretch my hands to thee
Come rescue me
I need you right away
The agony of being alone
The fear of doing things on my own
The test and trials that come to make me strong
The feelings of guilt, hurt, shame, and defeat
The ways of trials that feed upon me
But to know Lord that in you I’ve got victory
I need you now, Lord, I need you now (Oh, woo, woo)
I need you right now, right now, right now
I need you now
Not another minute, Lord
Can’t wait another day (oh…)
Oh Lord, please make a way
Oh Lord, Oh Lord, Mmmmm, Yeah
Leave Bad Feeling
Leave bad feeling. Go Away.!
Go away and never come back,
Not even another day.
No, you`re not talking yourself back in today.
I`m too busy with this other feeling.
This what do they call it, happiness.
This joy.
No, you can`t come back tomorrow.
Nope.
Not that day either.
So just stay away.
No you can`t both him neither,
We sharing this, what do they call it, happiness.
Yeah.
So long.
Don`t come back no mo`.
Leave bad feeling. Go Away.!
Go away and never come back,
Not even another day.
another day never come back
because I'll be with my friends
Laughter and Great Moments
Haven't you noticed they're more fun
and I don't want you back
I don't need you back
You never were my friend
more like that man, from Shakespeare
So et tu Brute, scoot
go away and never come back
be old school, like jack
I need new, because even if change is the only thing constant in this world
I need a friend that'll be more constant that time passed
That's why I found my presence
This is my gift for Happiness and joy
and I think they enjoy it more than you
So never come back, not even another day
---
Did I complete the challenge.??
---
Blogging.
So I asked for this aching to cease.
For these tears to be dried.
I asked for peace.
So I asked.
Then I received.
----
I`m really excited about the future. All the things I`m gonna experience. I can`t wait.! But I have to, grrr. I`m interested in meeting all the people I`m gonna meet. All the words I`m gonna combine. I keep daydreaming about all of this. You know the feeling you used to get when summer break was over & you were going back to school & you were getting all your supplies & all that good stuff [ at least I got excited by that stuff ]., that`s how I feel when I think about the future. The anticipation. I`m just so INTRIGUED [ sexy word ] by the future. I`m hopeful. I`m grateful.
Ah.
Life has a very interesting way of changing course. It`s crazy to just sit back & watch it all unfold. I have to admit, my life is not boring right now. When I think about it, it never really is. I think I use "boring" as an excuse to take pictures. Lol. Life is one big walking mystery & Lord KNOWS I love a good mystery. I think watching it unfold keeps me going. Because I can never stand walking away from a mystery until I see the solution revealed. Even if the solution isn`t satisfying to my liking I have to see that final result.
Sighs seem to really be helpful lately. Sometimes you need to take that extra breathe before you can continue. . .whatever it is that you need to continue.
I recently experienced what seems like a loss. . .but I think it`s been more of a gain. . .
*text break*
Like I was saying before I was INTERRUPTED [ you green ], I feel like I lost such a HUGE part of my life. I know it was for the BETTER but I`m struggling to grasp this concept. How one minute I was resting in loving arms & the next I`m letting & being let go. But one thing is for sure I don`t regret anything. Because I know that all though life may take its twist & turns, things will end on the right course. I truly believe that. I have to.
----
I love you.
So I let you go.
----
*Edit*
What A Wonderful, Merciful God.
= ]
-Eb
|R.I.P. Lothar Spang - The gift of writing is so much more than a gift. Thank You.|

7.12.2009
Love Poems (1)
7.11.2009
Free Write. (2)
&i don`t use too many of those big beautiful words..
Does supercalifragilisticexpyalidocious count.?
I just speak what I know and how I feel.
i write what comes to mind & how it comes to mind.
Thats all i know how to do.
Free Write.
We must first step back for but even a moment to see the clearer picture.
Emotions are good, but only when used wisely.
Good Mourning
Do do do
Do do do
Do do do do do do dooooooo [4x]
Good mourning silence
Good mourning to myself
Good mourning to the pain in the center of my chest
It's crazy how much I miss
a simple good mourning kiss
oh ohhhhh...
Good mourning independence or is it loneliness?
I know I said I wanted this but I have regrets
I pray for God's will to be done
The very next day you were gone
Oh Ohhhhhh
Good mourning to the harsh realities of life
and good mourning to the fact we're not husband and wife
We made a promise to stay
But destiny got in the way
oh ohhhhhhhh
Good mourning...
Good mourning acceptance
Good mourning inner strength
I'm loving every moment
even the strain
It's crazy how much I miss
a simple good mourning kiss
It's crazy how much I've missed
Now it's time for me to live
oh ohhhhhhhhhh
Good mourning...
Good mourning optimism
Good mourning to my faith
Good mourning to the beginning of a brand new day
I know that God's will be done
So I lay down my pain and I'm moving on
I know that God's will be done.
So it's a good mourning after all
This song coincides with how I`m feeling.
Dreams Mean Something.
Is it my true conscious speaking.?
Telling me that I`ve played the fool again.
Secretly they`re keeping me at the wayside.
Away from hurt & humiliation.
I don`t know whether who`s trap to fall into, reality or this dream world.
It`s like choosing the better of two evils.
Either chose leading to pain.
How can in one moments notice all feelings can change?
Everything you hope & wish for change.
One thing always comes to mind though:
"I Pray For God`s Will To Be Done, The Very Next Day You Were Gone."
These dreams have to be more than just dreams.
They feel like premonitions or truths of past times.
Like I`d been there.
I`m letting go.
Of the sadness.
Of the resentment.
Of the what-ifs.
-All this because of a dream...
7.10.2009
The Moon
Piece Of Heaven.
It represents renewal.
Its when the birds sing.
I think they like it too.
Morning gives me a chance to meditate and rejuvenate.
Its my favorite time to speak & hear from God.
Its reassurance that I can start fresh.
The morning time is the best...
I think its one of the closes things to Heaven.
BestFriend
7.09.2009
Thinking Out Loud.
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"
What does that mean exactly.? Is it that even the best attempts at making good of a situation, it can still end in disaster.? What do you think.? I can see this being applied to my situation.
Maybe things are changing to make it easier for me to:
Let go.
Perhaps move on.?
Could never turning back be an option.?
One thing that really frustrates me is that when I express my feelings sometimes is not met with the reaction I desire. . .the reaction I need. I want to feel that whatever I`m going through you understand. . .because I know when you`re "going through it" I more than understand. I feel the need to make it all better. I dont respond wordless & with weak console. Maybe it`s the mother-figure in me, feeling the need to make your pains go away even when I feel all hope is lost for me. I have the ability to shove my woes to the side & mend yours. As I write this I am discovering the answers that I`ve been searching to find. . .its weird. [ I guess that`s why I find comfort in writing, it heals my once open wounds ] I am discovering fully that it`s not possible for you to be there for me as I want you to be. So I`m going to discontinue running in the never ending circle I have been & FORGET about this. . .[ until I`m unoccupied again. . .of course. . . ] : /
7.08.2009
Short Piece
5.20.2009
1year:4months:4days:14hours | ♡
Somehow can`t feel my feelings.
But I`m okay?
I`m Oh Kay.
You say be strong.
So that I will be.
I`ll grow into it.
For now I'll get
use to the sagging.
The extra weight.
Anyone have safety pins?
I guess I`ll let time mend
what it must.
Let it speak.
Let it show what it must.
I`ll give this _____, whatever
this feeling is, to God.
Let Him peel away at it.
It`ll come out better.
I`ll let Him carry me.
Knowing that His footsteps
are those I see in the sand.
He`ll take my tears.
He`ll take my pain, this sinking
feeling in the pit of my stomach.
& At the end of this journey,
I`ll have grown into these new clothes.
Standing taller than I am now.
You`ll be by my side.
That`ll never change.
I`ll always feel you.
Not just in my heart
but in my spirit.
I`ll let the mmrs be my motivation.
Let your words be my guidance.
Let Him be my conscious.
☮ & ♥
-Eb
.Still Unbroken.


